Eureeka

I have been pondering something lately. I work with the youth at my church and I have noticed that they are telling me some hard things. I am sure every member of every religion is facing the same thing. The youth complain that things are becoming more polarized. There are the nerds or the party crowd. I guess there is very little middle ground for the youth that want to have fun, but don't wish to engage in drugs, alcohol, or breaking the law. They want to experience life, but still hold true to their personal values. One very awesome girl told me that she was frustrated because she wanted to try new things, but felt restrained because of her religion. When I asked her what these things might be, she said she didn't want to stay home on Friday and Saturday nights anymore because she was bored. In her mind, there are only two options 1-stay home 2-party. I told her that living life is not about the drugs or alcohol that you consume, but about the experiences you make. I told her that living life was making memories that she would never feel embarrassed to share. I told her that if she wanted to learn to scuba dive and go off the coast of Florida, there was nothing stopping her. If she wanted to see the world, climb mountains, white water raft, or anything like that, she did not have to compromise her values. Then I started fretting that the youth would feel this way. Why do they feel that there is no middle ground and how can the community as a whole offer wholesome activities to the youth regardless of religion? Then I understood something that I had not thought of before. Maybe I am hearing this now, not only to try to council the youth, but to prepare myself and change my parenting now. I admit that sometimes I just get down right mad at my kids and I yell at them or swat their behinds. Maybe I need to remember my training and skills and learn to discipline without yelling. Stop and listen to my kids so that they can come to me without worrying about me freaking out. I need to provide wholesome activities in my home now, so that my kids are more comfortable choosing to stay home rather than finding trouble. No, I'm not going to be instantly perfect, but I received a tiny glimpse from current youth as to how much my kids need me and how hard they may have it. My children will make their own choices and I have to allow them to do that, but I also need to foster a home environment that produces trust, love, and fun. I think back to my high school years and note that I had very different challenges, and those challenges still exists for youth, but what if my home environment were different, what then? However, this is futile because you can't change the past, however, I can change how I react and parent and that is what I need to focus on. I also need to let go of the worry and enjoy my job as a parent. I need to enjoy the sticky hugs and barbies everywhere because at some point, they won't be there anymore.