The down Side of Cooking

Growing up and the first little bit of marriage I didn't eat much. It was not because I didn't like food, it was because I didn't realize the deliciousness of food. My family was a busy one and we had a lot of box dinner. These consisted of TV dinner, hamburger helper, or simply a hot dog. My mother could cook and when we went camping or she had a break she would, but it wasn't often. Then I left for college and i carried on the tradition of not really cooking. My mother in law is a great cook and I would stuff myself when we visited. oh wait I still do that! then after my wonderful husband made a comment about not liking hamburger helper I started experimenting. I bought a cook book and started to try things. Oh my what a fabulous discovery. I liked cooking! I couldn't and still can't make it look as pretty as the pictures, but it usually tastes good. The result? Darn it, I gained weight. I gained a lot of weight because food is so delicious. Had I stayed in my ignorance of food, I think i still might weigh less. Now that I try to eat healthily it is really hard because I try to have a protein and veggie dinner. This leaves out carbs and complex meals. Well, I can't make pasta with bread sticks for lunch because I am the only one that will eat it. Some times I make those yummy meals on the weekend and then put them in single serving dishes to have for lunch, but nothing taste as good as a meal freshly prepared. Same with desserts. Why couldn't I be one of those people who can eat whatever they want? Oh yea, its from not eating as a child and being 4 10. My body really doesn't need that many calories to function. Sigh. Therefore I need to have people over so that i can make these wonderful dinners and not eat it all myself and not have leftovers for 2 weeks. I am discovering some healthy cooking options, but really that is no fun. It just taste better with all of the fat and salt in it. i don't know why. I guess I could indulge myself ans then spend every spare minute exercising, but I'm not that disciplined. Anyone else have this internal battle with food or is it just me?