Home Can Be A Heaven on Earth

Just now right now at our house. Poor little Ariana woke up in something of a state from her nap. She has been tantrumming ever since. She keeps trying to tell us what she wants, but we can't understand. Right now she is a crying mass of tears and runny nose lying on the floor. I hate when that happens. I really wish I could help her. So, I am blogging and hoping she will calm down enough to let me help her. Tantrums are not fun. She doesn't do this often, but once is enough.

Poor McKayla is so confused. I told her that she would get her shots on her birthday. Well, I received the information for kindergarten roundup and she has to have them before registering this month. I have made the appointment and we are all set. Except McKayla thinks it is her birthday. Which is not until the end of April, so she mad. If she should have to get shots, then a really big birthday party at the beach should be in order to make her feel better. Yep, she wants to go to the beach for her birthday. Don't know how I am going to figure that one out. Maybe I can find a place that looks like a beach somewhere in Boise or down in SLC that we could pretend? However, that doesn't change the fact that she thought her birthday was close and they didn't sing to her in church.

Good think I have a super husband that is trying to snuggle our little baby while I think really hard about calendars, shots and how to explain that we live no where near the ocean.

New Hair

So, last night I went and got my hair done. I have not done anything to it for about 6 months, so I was supper excited to be able to go. My hubby got off work a little early to watch our kids and the kids I babysit so that I could go. I was tired and cranky and I was thinking about canceling the appointment, but now I am so very glad I didn't. I have been growing my hair out for about 1.5 years. It is fairly long and I debated cutting it, but then I decided not to. I asked the gal to put blond and dark red highlights in my hair. I only get the top and sides done because it is so much cheaper and no one really notices underneath that much. I also asked her for some long layers and long bangs that swoop to the side. I really like how it ended up. She used a straightener on it and I love how soft and shiny it looks. She also didn't use any products, which is nice that I don't need them to replicate the look. I told her that I seem to have issues with my straightener and she gave me some tips. Mostly the problems stems from my straightener being a bad one and then she gave me some brands of good ones that don't damage hair as much. Then she told me how to blow dry it. The style is a little more flat today because I didn't wash it this morning. I always wait a day to wash my hair ofter I color it. I love it and my hubby says I have sexy hair:). He makes me laugh.

Same Parents

I have heard that siblings can be so different and I have seen that in my family as I look at my older brothers. Somehow I thought that the differences came later in life as each made choices or had experiences to shape them. I look at my girls and I noticed that they were different right from the first day I held them. They have had different experiences growing up. McKayla had her father at home and then was bounced around to daycare. I also took her to work often, so she was just part of the work place. I decided to commit to be a full time stay at home mother 4.5 months before Ariana was born and have continued that role to the present time. However I wanted to list some of the differences and similarities that I have noticed. Not that I love one more than the other and Ariana has McKayla to help her out more, so I know that has made a difference.

In the hospital:
McKayla cried and cried. She did not want to sleep or cuddle. She wanted to up and socializing.
Ariana wanted to cuddle up with mom and sleep snuggled on my neck and chest. She also loved to be held skin to skin. She needed that physical contact.

Attitude about transitions for the first year:
McKayla simply wanted to play. She was always looking for someone to play with her. As long as she was being loved she didn't care who it was.
Ariana main thought was "where is my mom?!" That was it, she wouldn't be happy unless I was around.

Food:
McKayla likes junk food. Any junk food, she will tell you this her self.
Ariana will eat junk food, but would rather prefer to eat a hearty meal like pasta, chicken, or pancakes. She has always been a good eater (even though she is almost 2 and doesn't weigh 20 pounds yet).
On a side note: Both hate jello and apple sauce.

Waking up:
McKayla wakes up with a smile on her face and always comes and gives a hug and says good morning to us.
Ariana wakes up very grumpy. She does better if we get her a drink and then she can snuggle in bed with mom until she feels like facing the day. The new schedule is not making her happy.

Both love movies, books, and being outside. They like camping and playing in the dirt. They both love wearing dresses and being cute. They both love each other and gets very concerned when the other is upset.

I am grateful for my girls and the many lessons that they teach me. They are a blessing and I love them so much. I am a lucky mom to be able to have them to care for.

Early To Rise

When I was younger, I had no problem getting up early. Maybe it was because I always had somewhere to be like work or school. Since I became a stay at home mom getting up is not that easy. My kids like to sleep in and they love morning cuddles. They like to hop in bed with me and chat, giggle or just lay there. It was a peaceful time and I loved it. I kept wanting to get up in the morning and workout. I really did. I would do it for maybe a couple of days and then i would slip back into my staying up and getting up late routine. Then my walking group decided to switch to mornings. We now exercise at 5:30. It has been hard, but I think it is better. I am usually back at home by 6:15 and then I can get ready and start on my to do list. Not only that, but I feel less stressed. I am getting tired way earlier. Last night I crawled into bed a little after 9:00. I don't know when I have ever done that. I like to read my scriptures and write in my journal early. I have noticed that my prayers are more sincere because I don't have to shut my kids out of my room while I say a quick prayer. I can read the scriptures and really focus on them because I don't have distractions around me. I also can think more about what I want to write about in my journal. (No this is not my journal, this is me being odd). I having been waking the girls up at 7:30 so that they can get dressed and have a good breakfast. Plus this gives us time for family prayer and scripture picture time. (We have pictures depicting a story from the scriptures and we talk about it.) I won't lie, I am looking forward to sleeping past 5:30 on Saturday, but I can honestly say that this change is a good thing. Like all change it is not easy and it will take awhile to get use to, but I know it is good.

What Have I Done?

So, I put McKayla in dance this year. She seems to really like it. The dances are cute and she is so excited to go every week. She has a DVD of the dances she is working on and she doesn't really like to practice at home, but her and Chad have a dance that they do together, so he needs to practice with her. Her recital is soon so the teacher is setting up dress rehearsals and costume instructions. I nearly died when the teach gave a specific color of lipstick and how the kids should have their makeup done. I can see how it will look better that way, but it's kind of odd too. I remember when I was a cheerleader in high school we made fun of Bonneville because their cheerleaders all had the same hair color, style, and they looked the same. Don't get me wrong, they were crazy good cheerleaders. They made our team look pathetic, but that's not the point. Now my kid is starting her training to do the same thing. AHHHHH! Okay, maybe not, but it did bring back those high school memories where I was wondering if they all were brain washed. I think the kids will look cute and I will get to see my beautiful nieces dance as well.

The down Side of Cooking

Growing up and the first little bit of marriage I didn't eat much. It was not because I didn't like food, it was because I didn't realize the deliciousness of food. My family was a busy one and we had a lot of box dinner. These consisted of TV dinner, hamburger helper, or simply a hot dog. My mother could cook and when we went camping or she had a break she would, but it wasn't often. Then I left for college and i carried on the tradition of not really cooking. My mother in law is a great cook and I would stuff myself when we visited. oh wait I still do that! then after my wonderful husband made a comment about not liking hamburger helper I started experimenting. I bought a cook book and started to try things. Oh my what a fabulous discovery. I liked cooking! I couldn't and still can't make it look as pretty as the pictures, but it usually tastes good. The result? Darn it, I gained weight. I gained a lot of weight because food is so delicious. Had I stayed in my ignorance of food, I think i still might weigh less. Now that I try to eat healthily it is really hard because I try to have a protein and veggie dinner. This leaves out carbs and complex meals. Well, I can't make pasta with bread sticks for lunch because I am the only one that will eat it. Some times I make those yummy meals on the weekend and then put them in single serving dishes to have for lunch, but nothing taste as good as a meal freshly prepared. Same with desserts. Why couldn't I be one of those people who can eat whatever they want? Oh yea, its from not eating as a child and being 4 10. My body really doesn't need that many calories to function. Sigh. Therefore I need to have people over so that i can make these wonderful dinners and not eat it all myself and not have leftovers for 2 weeks. I am discovering some healthy cooking options, but really that is no fun. It just taste better with all of the fat and salt in it. i don't know why. I guess I could indulge myself ans then spend every spare minute exercising, but I'm not that disciplined. Anyone else have this internal battle with food or is it just me?

Sweethearts

Every year during the Valentine season millions of boxes of Sweethearts are produced, purchased and eaten. Now the little hearts say cute things and they are really fun to play with and give to others. Yet, they are so gross. I do not like eating those candies. I realize that it would not be Valentine's without them, but can't they taste better? Not even the new sparkling ones tasted good. So, I wanted to know if anyone likes the taste of these candies. If you do, great! I am happy for you. But, if no one does, the question remains as to why we buy the stupid things. Granted they are cheap, but I almost feel like they are the fruitcake of the Valentine candy world. Everybody gets them, no body eats them, and yet it would be Valentine's with out it. If I really wanted to stretch psychology really far, maybe I would state that my thoughts on this holiday stem from too much yucky candy given to me as a child. If someone loves me, why do they keep giving me these boxes of candy that I throw away? However, I realize that my thoughts on this holiday go much deeper than that, which is a post that may or may not surface in the future.

Schedules

So, I am a list/schedule person. You write down what you want/need to get done and then tackle it. It seems pretty simple. I don't remember a time in my life in which I didn't try to organize or write things out. I think it has served me well. Now, some may ask where I received this trait. No, it was not taught to me by my parents. They are not the list/planner type. My mother always insisted upon punctuality and participating in a lot of activities, but I don't recall her organizing her day or mine that much. I believe I was born with it. Then I married my wonderful husband. Guess what? He is not a list person. He is more of a sit back and things will get done person. He is very mellow. I have tried for almost 10 years to convert him to my listing ways with little success. However, he is really good at following lists. If I leave a list of things that need done he will do them eventually. Yep, our time tables are different too. He has taken a step toward the type A personality side by allowing me to map out his homework for him. In past semesters he has struggled with due dates and finishing projects. I didn't get it until now. His instructors are not for the type A personality. The syllabus changes weekly. Projects change when they are due, readings move all over the place. It's driving me crazy! I get it now, the syllabus was difficult to understand in the first place. Rather than weekly expectation the syllabus were grouped by project. The project would have the due dates thrown somewhere in the middle of the page of instructions. Need I say more? I spend hours trying to figure out what on earth his professors were saying and when things were due so we could write it on his calendar. Then it changes.

I really like consistency and order. I like having a purpose to the day and I love seeing my list crossed off at the end of the day. I have been tyring to write out a schedule for the kids so I can have some order here watching 6 kids. It has worked out really well. So, I started writing out a schedule for today for the family. Then last night I realized something. Saturday is the only day where they don't need a schedule. We don't have a lot to get done, and there is no need to be so organized. I will organize myself, but seriously everybody else should get a break from the schedule. See, I can lighten up a little. I want my kids to be a good blend of me and my husband. I want them to appreciate organization and see how it can help life, but I also want them to be spontaneous like Chad and sometimes just be able to relax and enjoy the feeling of being alive.

Movin Along

My husband and I had one of those long talks last night in which we discuss our lives, feelings, family, and examine our levels of balance, satisfaction and joy. We don't do this very often and really, it was not planned. My husband is an amazing guy. He has so many talents and abilities, yet he doesn't really shine forth for all to see these talents. He was a bit upset yesterday because he was asked to cover a different area at the hospital. Normally he focuses on discharges and then he fills in as needed. He was asked to fill in yesterday in the Women's Center, which deals with birth, adoption, preemie care and other things along this line. He felt very inadequate and worried all night if he had done a sufficient job. As we were talking I realized that somewhere he had lost confidence in himself. He worries about being wrong or offending others so he would rather take a neutral stance or sit back more. This revelation blew me away. Like I said, he is so talented. He is a great person to talk to, he makes a great social worker, he has a great voice and love for music, he is a wonderful father and husband, so why did he not feel confident? Then, after we talked for awhile about that, it turned to me. He said the same thing to me! I went "Huh?!" He sees me as a talented individual who doesn't put themselves out there very much. I agreed with him, but mine was more in one specific area and I know exactly why it is the way it is. At this point I know you are wondering about the point of the post. Well here it is: We have not been lifting our heads up and enjoying the journey. We have not been enjoying what we have and squeezing out fulfillment from our lives. We both have put our heads down, making one foot fall in front of the other and forgetting about recreation and fun. We both need to lighten up a little. Now, this does not mean we are going to run away on a cruise. No money in the budget for that, but rather take time for what we do have here. For example, we have an awesome exercise room. I use it about 2 a week and my husband doesn't at all. He wants to, but it doesn't seem to fit in. We both realized that we need to enjoy those weights and machines we have invested in and remember the joy of feeling fit and strong. we need to take time to walk outside and enjoy the crisp air. We need to take chances in friendship and know that we may not be accepted or it may not work out. We need to stand up and say that this life is short, and while we want to be disciplined and choose to do good things, we also need to stop and enjoy as well. We are planning many hikes and outdoor adventures this summer. We have been given so much, and we are doing our best to fulfill our obligations and commitments, but we forgot about laughter, smiling, and some times just being silly. So today I challenge everyone to take a moment to do something that makes them lift their heads up and rejoice in this journey of life. Go to a park and play with your kids (if you don't still have a lot of snow like us), finger paint, take a picture of something that makes you smile, walk outside and find a star constellation tonight, or call someone and invite them over. I am going to lift weights this afternoon like I haven't for a long time, knowing that tomorrow I will be sore, but also knowing that I can be strong and that it's not too late to be fit. Good luck and I hope you all find a reason today to laugh out loud!

Church Ideas

So, at my church we have a meeting first called sacrament in which the whole family attends and listens to speakers from the congregation talk on a specific subject. This meeting is about 70 minutes long. For little kids this is a long 70 minutes. I have noticed that both of our kids had a rough time with this stage. McKayla would just try to run away and not stay seated. Ariana tried that for awhile. Then she got the awesome idea of screaming at a really high pitched tone that caused most people around us to jump. So, I tried to be stern with her about this horrible problem and it got worse. I then realized that she was having way more fun pushing my buttons that the goodies I brought. Yes, I have complained about this before. So last week I made her a file folder game. These are so easy to do. Grab a file folder (I used old ones) and then tape or glue down the game on the inside. I did colors first. I made teddy bears in different colors, making sure that there were 2 bears of each color for matching. I taped one set of bears on the folder and then I put Velcro on top of them. Then I put the other part of the Velcro on the back of their matches. I also did a shape game for her. At first I didn't think she liked them, but she really got into it and she was learning too. McKayla wanted to have some too, but she is far beyond shapes and colors. So this week I am making one for Mckayla were she has to match uppercase letters to lower case letters. It is going to be more tricky. I also want to make one where she has to match her personal information to the title. Such as first name and she would match McKayla. The hard part is she can't read, but I hope she will learn to understand. I am thinking there is no end to this concept. I am can make as many as needed to keep the kids entertained. I another thought that I had was to make the games about church topics or stories. I have thought about a felt board or something similar, but I think this will work just fine. Do any of you have any fun games for church? We have books and church magazines to look at, coloring books and a very few toys. Another question that I have is for those of you that are LDS at what age should I start getting the Friend for McKayla? She will be 5in a couple of months and she can't read yet, but I have heard really good things about this kids magazine. Have a great day.

Adventures of Babysitting

Okay, so it wasn't that adventuresome. I am now watching a family from our ward. The kids are McKayla's age and up, so no little Ariana age ones to worry about. They are really great kids and pretty laid back. I started today and I was pretty unorganized. I have plans for tomorrow and being more on top of it. I am grateful to have this opportunity to grow and learn. McKayla is very excited for more friends to play with. I think it will work out great. I think this will help me get out of our normal rut and try some new things.

Agency

The thing we fight for and believe in is freedom. Freedom to choose, to vote, to make our own choices, and to lives our own lives. I am a full believer in agency and the right to choose for ones self. Then why, I must ask, is it so hard to give my children these same choices. My children are stubborn, strong willed, and once they get an idea in their head they won't change their mind. I think they get it from their father. Okay quit laughing, maybe those are some of my traits. (I heard that snorting!) Anyway, back to the purpose of the post. McKayla has been asking to get her ears pierced for about a year. I had mine done at about 6 months. My niece had hers done when she was 11. When is the right time? I wanted to make the decision for herself, but when could I say that she was old enough to make that decision? McKayla is no ordinary 4 year old. She wants to know the facts. For example, she loves learning about animals. She knows what a habitat is and the definition of cold blooded. She is perfectly fine with the food chain and understands that things are hunted and eaten. She also wants to be a paleontologist after she done being an astronaut. She feels she wants to see the stars and what dwells above us before she makes her discoveries of the earth and what lies below us. My father offered to buy her a book and she choose a dinosaur book that is more like an encyclopedia than a child's book. So, you see my point, she is pretty smart girl. When she stared asking about ear piercings I told her all that was involved. I told her that they use a tool that shoots the earring through her ear, causing a hold and pain. I let her know there would be blood and that it would hurt for awhile afterwards. I explained that she had to take care of her ears and be very careful for about 6 months. That has postponed the asking for awhile. Then she started noticing the girls at preschool and dance that have earrings. The light bulb went on about all the the really cute earrings one could buy. She has been drooling over my earrings as well. The asking started again. I reminded her of the consequences of her choice. I also had her watch a video of a little girl getting her ears pierced on the Internet. She still persisted that she wanted to. I was dumbfounded. She knew all of the consequences, had seen it done, and could tell me everything I had told her. Yet, she still felt like it was something she desired. Chad and I discussed it and decided that it was time to allow her to use her agency. We sat down with her and talked to her again about choices and consequences. We also informed her that we couldn't afford it at this time. She already had a financial backer. I knew my parents have been waiting for 5 years to pay for this. So, that took care of finances. This being done, she choose yesterday to get her ears pierced. Yep, we did it folks. Her face turned red and she shed a single tear. Then she saw her reflection in a mirror. Then we couldn't tear her away from a mirror all day. We asked if it hurt more than she expected. She said that she thought it would feel like a shot and it did. She reminds me 3 times a day to clean her ears and is taking care of them so far. I had a hard time letting go of that control, but I couldn't argue against my original complaint. i wanted her to be old enough to understand and make the choice for herself. And she did.

We did sit down and talk to her about rules of the house. I told her that she will see things that others do, say, or want that we will not be allow in our home. I told her that we didn't need to go over the list right now, but that she needed to be aware that we wanted her to make her own choices and we encouraged her to make good choices, but some things were taboo. I am hoping that we can teach her to make good choices early on. I feel like we have definitely taught her to use logic and to face all of the facts and know the consequences before making choices. We also told her that she can come and talk to us if she is not sure what to do. Shouldn't we be having this conversation is 10 years? Why are we having it now?

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Valentine's Day

Make a Smilebox greeting

Praying for blessing

Like most people in the world, we are in dept. Okay, maybe more than some and less than others. Anyway, it's very stressful, but we honestly looked at our situation and realized we were not paying attention to want vs. need. In fact we were really just wanting. But, we came up with a great budget to help us get out of dept. We were feeling very good about things. We did our taxes and felt ever better. Then silly things started happening, such as my going to the dentist for my 6 month check up and a root canal later realizing rats! I still haven't scheduled to get the crown. Plus yesterday my car was dripping anti-freeze out on the ground at library time. It kind of looked like an alien from a cheesy sci-fic movie had died under my car. I was more then a little stressed. Okay, I'll admit that a threw a large tantrum yesterday afternoon over the dumbest thing. Today I noticed we received our state return. I was able to pay off all of the doctor bills (including the ones that seem to keep coming from that gallbladder surgery). Plus some extra to help the car. I was hoping that all of our tax return would go to credit card debt. It would really help, and I was disappointed that other emergencies cropped up that needed money. I felt like screaming "I'm trying to be good and do the right thing, A little help would be appreciated!" Then I realized last night as I knelt and said my prayers something I had been too busy complaining to notice: they have been answered. A month ago if I had needed dental care or the car needed some work, we wouldn't have been able to do it. Because the Lord protected us until he knew that we would have the funds to cover the emergencies that came up this month. We will still have some money to go towards our debt, but our wise Heavenly Father is teaching me how to really stick to a budget and learn the differences between want and needs. But He is also watching over us as well. I guess I was praying for blessings, but I ignoring what I was given. I am so grateful for a wonderful Heavenly Father who knows what I need better than I do.

Yes, we have a long road ahead of us that will require being financially wise and controlling our wants and being reasonable, but I am great for this lesson now. I am grateful that I can realize the blessing surrounding me and I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn how to save money. Chad and I talked and we realize that this trial is preparing us for something greater. Chad is taking a class on aging and the policies surrounding our older population. If one must rely on medicare, social security, or other governmental funds, they may be in for a shock. As he has reviewed what he is learning with me, we realize that we must plan for our older years now. We do have retirement plan, and a couple of other investments, but we need to do more to put money away not only for a rainy day, but for our future. I am getting a glimpse of how important it is to be satisfied with what we have and not want more. Cars will come and go as cars do, but our home is plenty big for the four of us. We don't need the newest, latest, or greatest to be happy. We don't need to be involved in every opportunity that comes our way. We will be better off in the future and now if we focus on our family, our religion and taking opportunities that are low cost. Rather than being entertained we are learning to entertain each other and playing together. Game night is becoming very popular for us and I am making pizza rather than ordering it for a restaurant. I plan on making other changes as well. I am excited to learn and to teach my girls. Again, I am so grateful for my blessings.

Youth

I have really enjoyed working with the youth at church. The girls are fun and they make me laugh so hard. Last night was the first time I felt frustration or helplessness. One young girl came and really didn't want to participate last night. She felt like being disruptive and complaining or arguing with others. I tried to encourage her and let her know why I felt church was important.

For those that are LDS, she didn't want to work on the personal progress book last night. For those who are not LDS, personal progress is a program for young women where they have a booklet that helps them understand gospel principals. The booklet is optional to do, no one has to do it, if they choose not to, they are not shunned or made fun of. Honestly, I don't know how many girls complete it. Anyway, I was trying to talk to them and encourage them to read the scriptures and work on projects that would help them gain insight into the principals of the gospel. For example, I was talking to them about faith last night and one experience that the girls are challenged to do is to pray night and morning for three weeks and then journal about how their faith increased when they took time to pray.

This young lady comes from a divorced family and I think she feels pulled in different directions. I sense insecurity and a questioning of self within her. I understand that at her age she is dealing with some very challenging things. I simply want her to know that I care about her and God cares about her. I want to be able for her to know that I won't care about her any less if she doesn't want to participate in doing personal progress, I simply don't want her to give up on herself. Simply, I want to be a good example for her and let her know that she is a wonderful girl. Yet, I can't have her disrupting the girls that are there to learn and want to work hard. I have been praying for guidance. I know the most important thing is for her to feel my love, but how do I encourage her without being preachy or sounding condescending?

I think this post is more for me today. I think it is more for my head to ponder how to be more like Christ and share my faith and love with those who are assigned to my class.

TV Shows

We don't really have television. We do have TVs but they don't get any channels. So instead of paying a cable bill we choose net flicks. That way I can choose what we watch. I have trouble sleeping quite often. Really if I don't take an over the counter sleep aid, I will stay awake all night. In fact I did that on Saturday. So, I got on my computer and started looking for something to watch. I started looking at some series of shows. Now, TV shows don't have a rating and really I didn't look to close at any warnings. They first 2 shows were not appropriate. I have a difficult time coming into the modern world were TV shows do not mean appropriate shows. Anyway, I skipped through 2 of them and then I found a cute series based on the Robin Hood legend. I have always adored the story of Robin Hood from the "Prince of Thieves" (I would swoon when ever I heard the Brian Adams song from that) to the Disney version. I loved this series. It was great. Of course it had some different takes. Mariann was a little stubborn and tended to fight the evil Sheriff in her own way. Robin never expresses his feeling, thus giving the appearance of arrogance and no cares in the world. So, at 7:30 am on Sunday morning (when I should have been waking up for church) the last episode of the session starts. It starts off with Mariann dying. What! She can't die. i was sleep deprived and heart broken as I got ready for church. So, I did what any sensible person does I got on line and check out the homepage for the series and hey, she is back in season 2. Whew, I felt much better. Then I noticed that there is a season 3 and guess what? She is dead in this season. Now I am grumpy all over again because she can't die. Maybe this is why I don't watch TV. I get emotionally attached and I hate the modern thought that pain and suffering sells. Really i prefer that the hero be man enough to declare his love to the leading lady, he does what he needs to do to be the hero (making some mistakes of course) and then they live happily ever after. Chad commented that maybe by the time the third season comes around you want that character to die. I hope they don't do that to a character I hold dear. That is my rant on TV shows. They need to have ratings and they should quit messing with one of my favorite legends.

Whoot!

Ariana went potty last night. I don't know if she meant to or not, but we celebrated. Hooray for Ariana. She was so upset over something that I don't think she noticed the celebration. She did notice the chocolate kiss that was given her, but she ate it with a grumpy face.

DOne

OK, I guess I'm done whining about comments. Now I will whine about the dentist. I like our dentist. He is a nice guy, but his profession is evil. I went to see him yesterday to take take of 2 cavities. One went nice and easy, nothing too bad, the second, well not so much. First I must go back to the past, so bare with me. While attending college my husband and I didn't have any dental insurance, so we didn't go to the dentist. On campus they had a little practice area for people wanting to practice their dental skills. For $25 you could go and get your cavities filled. Awesome, so I went and I have a lot of cavities. One in particular the student drilled and drilled and finally called over the real dentist (I know this is never a good sign). The real dentist said that the cavity was too big and that I needed a crown. Having no dental insurance, I knew that we couldn't afford that, so I smiled and told the dentist I would make an appointment as soon as I could, however, in the mean time could they put a filling in because it might be awhile. I think this was between 6 or 7 years ago, perhaps more, I'm not real sure. Now fast forward to yesterday. I ask the dentist if it is a really big filling that maybe should have had a crown put on it. Yep, it sure was. Now I have to go to a specialist and get a root canal done, then get back with my dentist and get a crown done. I did confess my story and he commented that really, it was a good use for $25 dollars and it lasted years. However, he put a very temporary filling in and tried to do some root canal work while it was drilled out, and of course he couldn't which is why I have to go see a specialist. So now I really need to get it done because it could get worse really fast. Did I mention that no specialist in the area is contracted though our dental insurance. So, The insurance will pay for some of the cost, but we will still have to pay more. I did get an appointment with the specialist on Monday, then I will have to call the dentist and see about that crown. I must admit that after I went to the practice dentist many years ago, I have gotten much better about cleaning my teeth, thus why it lasted long. That is a good thing right? I have numb face to look forward to and lots of dental bills. Yea!

On Strike

Ok people. Three post and not 1 comment. That's it, I'm going on strike until moral improves!

Diapers and Silly Girls

When McKayla turned 2 I was determined that she was going to potty train. After making her hate the potty and everything about it, I gave up. Then, magically about 6 months later, she asked to use the potty. She did fine from then on. She had accidents, but for the most part did great. Now I have a new problem with my next little girl. She doesn't want to wear a diaper, she wants to wear panties. She will put on swim diapers in hopes that they are panties. Not such a great idea. As soon as her diaper is wet or messy, she wants it off. If she does not feel like involving me in the process, she will try to do it herself. So, I brought out the potty. She will sit on it, but is not really interested in using it. So, how do I keep diapers on a kid that doesn't want to wear them and doesn't really want to use the potty? I have considered duct tape, but that might be hard. I did buy some training pants, but they don't come in her size. The makers of training pants usually believe that a child that is ready to potty train should have some weight to them. My little girl is about 22 months old and still only weighs 18.25 pounds. She is still wearing 12 month clothes. They are getting too short for her, so her footie pajamas, overalls, and dresses are too short, but nothing will stay up around her tiny waist. Poor little girl, she can't wear training diapers, her cloths are too short, and she just wants to be big.

Those Times In Life

I have been in a bit a funk emotionally for the past week or so. I know what the various causes are and I also know that things are and will continue to get better. I notice that when I am in these funks I often examine my life and the path I taken by choices. I have made some extremely stupid choices. Yet the one choice I will be forever grateful for making is the choice to be baptized. Granted, I didn't stop making stupid choices, but it was a step in the direction that I needed to go. I am so much further in my walk of life and I can see looking back how that one choice has guided me. I am grateful that I have the anchor of faith and the love of others to teach me. I am grateful that I can always repent if I make a bad choice. I am grateful for the perspective I have gained through religion. i don't know where I would be without my religion. So, no matter what has laid in my past, I have been forgiven. And no matter what trials are in my future, I know who I am and what I need to do to weather the storm, and that is pretty incredible. I am grateful for the chance to teach my girls this in hopes they are spared the pain that I went through, yet I know the choice is theirs to make. And I will love them no matter what they do, what choices they make, I will love them unconditionally forever!

Guilty

I have to admit that my four year old is a pretty good kid. She endures a lot from her little sister. She puts up with being hit, toys being taken away, having to be the patient one, or having to sacrifice so that her sister will be happy. Really, being the older sibling is always hard. McKayla is very good about coming to me to help solve problems so that I can be the one to administer the punishment. However, I have noticed something lately. If Ariana becomes upset and McKayla is not at fault, she will ignore or come tell me what happened. However, if McKayla has reason to feel like she did something to cause Ariana to become upset, she will start singing a church song to Ariana. It's the same one every time too. I have to chuckle because as I have been observing I finally figured it out: no singing means McKayla is not guilty and singing means guilty. Now, if it would only stay that easy to determine fault. And to defend McKayla, she really doesn't do terrible stuff, but she knows that she needs to come get me to help solve conflicts, so really, she not all bad. However, Ariana is a monster, as was her sister at this age, and I can't wait until she out grows it and becomes sweet like her sister is now!