Life

Sigh. As I stepped on the scale this morning I think I heard it groan in pain. The "the voice" started in on me. I thought for sure that after I did that one workout this morning I would magically wake up slim. I did a Biggest Loser video yesterday and it almost killed me. The body and exercise plus diet is confusing. I don't really care what the number on the scale says. I realize that it needs to be far lower than what it is currently saying, but that is not really what I am basing my health on. Rather it is this depression, lack of mental clarity, and lack of energy that tells me that my body needs some work. So, I want to diet, but it's hard and I want to exercise and it is hard as well. Why does the body take up to 3 weeks to feel any better when you start to change how you eat and exercise. I rarely make it through the first week because I am so tired and hungry and I am having sugar withdrawal. So, everyday I will focus on my small victories. Maybe in the end they will add up. If not you can all have a good chuckle.
Tuesday's victories: 1)I did a workout video 2) I snuck some carrots into my unsuspecting tummy 3) I didn't take a nap 4) I felt good feeling like i really worked out hard.
Next: McKayla is doing great. She went to school yesterday and is such an awesome kid. i am so amazed at her positive outlook and cheerful outlook. She really is an example to me of "come what may and love it".
Ariana: Oh how I love this little twerp. She can drive me nuts and yet melt my heart. I worry that others only see her crazy side and don't notice how sweet and caring she can be. She still gives McKayla a hug and kiss everyday because she has an boo-boo on her eye.
Chad: Still working hard at school and work. He has to do his COMPS in February so he will not technically graduate until then. I told him that it will be okay because then he can spend more time with me. He is trying so hard yet he feels like he is getting kicked while down. i told him that his fabulous, high paying job won't start until March, so god is making him wait.
Me: I am finding more sunshine in this life. Since May I have allowed despair, frustration, and hurt cloud my days, but I am starting to notice the sunshine through the clouds. I am blessed with a great family and great fiends.
Last: Goodbye for now. I won't be back until Monday because I am going on a girls scrapbook retreat Thursday through Saturday. I hope you all have a fabulous day.