More Deep Thoughts

Okay, so maybe posting so early causes way too much thinking. Today I was pondering trials and their effects on people. Everyone has problems. I think we forget that sometimes. We look at others and we don't know what they are going through or what mnade them who they are. Obviously there are many ways this trian of thought could go, but I was more or less thinking about my reactions as a parent. Last night McKayla was trying to make a serect fort with Ariana. Somehow McKayla ended up trapping Ariana in the dark with blanets all around her. I was in the room, but I freaked out a little. I knew that Ariana was in no danger and I also knew the McKayla was not being mean, but I was ticked. I tried to explain to McKayla what she had done and why I was upset. Then I had to stop and think about why did I react that way. I relized that I am very much afraid of the dark. I watched Nightmare on Elm Street way too much and way too early in my childhood and Freddy became my personal boogy man. In fact, I hate the dark and that studpid show is the main reason I was so against basements for a long time. It is a silly childhood fear that obviously has effected my pyscological thinking as an adult. McKayla was not trying to scare Ariana, but I imdiatly thought she was. After I got mad, I calmed down and relized that McKayla was being a good big sister and was building a secret fort with Ariana. they wanted to make a place that was secret and fun. Thankfully, we did that after I clamed down. I explained that a secret fort needs light, but it can be way cool. I ended up moving the couch and putting the little game table beside it and making a cool fort. I also ended up feeling like a mega idiot as I relized how much I over reacted to Ariana being scared. I relize that I want to protect my kids so much. I know that life is hard, I know that there will be trials for my kids, but I don't them to be afraid. I want them to grow and be strong, but never to fear. It's a good thing Chad is getting a his masters in social work and I plan on counceling women and girls once I recieve my masters, maybe between the two of us i won't be so crazy. The human mind is interesting and scary. I relize how friagil and how much we adapt and change to overcome fears. Good thing my husband gave me a hug last night and told me that he has big muscels and he would beat up any boogy men that tried to get me :) This is the same thing he tells McKayla who is 5.