Movin Along

My husband and I had one of those long talks last night in which we discuss our lives, feelings, family, and examine our levels of balance, satisfaction and joy. We don't do this very often and really, it was not planned. My husband is an amazing guy. He has so many talents and abilities, yet he doesn't really shine forth for all to see these talents. He was a bit upset yesterday because he was asked to cover a different area at the hospital. Normally he focuses on discharges and then he fills in as needed. He was asked to fill in yesterday in the Women's Center, which deals with birth, adoption, preemie care and other things along this line. He felt very inadequate and worried all night if he had done a sufficient job. As we were talking I realized that somewhere he had lost confidence in himself. He worries about being wrong or offending others so he would rather take a neutral stance or sit back more. This revelation blew me away. Like I said, he is so talented. He is a great person to talk to, he makes a great social worker, he has a great voice and love for music, he is a wonderful father and husband, so why did he not feel confident? Then, after we talked for awhile about that, it turned to me. He said the same thing to me! I went "Huh?!" He sees me as a talented individual who doesn't put themselves out there very much. I agreed with him, but mine was more in one specific area and I know exactly why it is the way it is. At this point I know you are wondering about the point of the post. Well here it is: We have not been lifting our heads up and enjoying the journey. We have not been enjoying what we have and squeezing out fulfillment from our lives. We both have put our heads down, making one foot fall in front of the other and forgetting about recreation and fun. We both need to lighten up a little. Now, this does not mean we are going to run away on a cruise. No money in the budget for that, but rather take time for what we do have here. For example, we have an awesome exercise room. I use it about 2 a week and my husband doesn't at all. He wants to, but it doesn't seem to fit in. We both realized that we need to enjoy those weights and machines we have invested in and remember the joy of feeling fit and strong. we need to take time to walk outside and enjoy the crisp air. We need to take chances in friendship and know that we may not be accepted or it may not work out. We need to stand up and say that this life is short, and while we want to be disciplined and choose to do good things, we also need to stop and enjoy as well. We are planning many hikes and outdoor adventures this summer. We have been given so much, and we are doing our best to fulfill our obligations and commitments, but we forgot about laughter, smiling, and some times just being silly. So today I challenge everyone to take a moment to do something that makes them lift their heads up and rejoice in this journey of life. Go to a park and play with your kids (if you don't still have a lot of snow like us), finger paint, take a picture of something that makes you smile, walk outside and find a star constellation tonight, or call someone and invite them over. I am going to lift weights this afternoon like I haven't for a long time, knowing that tomorrow I will be sore, but also knowing that I can be strong and that it's not too late to be fit. Good luck and I hope you all find a reason today to laugh out loud!

Church Ideas

So, at my church we have a meeting first called sacrament in which the whole family attends and listens to speakers from the congregation talk on a specific subject. This meeting is about 70 minutes long. For little kids this is a long 70 minutes. I have noticed that both of our kids had a rough time with this stage. McKayla would just try to run away and not stay seated. Ariana tried that for awhile. Then she got the awesome idea of screaming at a really high pitched tone that caused most people around us to jump. So, I tried to be stern with her about this horrible problem and it got worse. I then realized that she was having way more fun pushing my buttons that the goodies I brought. Yes, I have complained about this before. So last week I made her a file folder game. These are so easy to do. Grab a file folder (I used old ones) and then tape or glue down the game on the inside. I did colors first. I made teddy bears in different colors, making sure that there were 2 bears of each color for matching. I taped one set of bears on the folder and then I put Velcro on top of them. Then I put the other part of the Velcro on the back of their matches. I also did a shape game for her. At first I didn't think she liked them, but she really got into it and she was learning too. McKayla wanted to have some too, but she is far beyond shapes and colors. So this week I am making one for Mckayla were she has to match uppercase letters to lower case letters. It is going to be more tricky. I also want to make one where she has to match her personal information to the title. Such as first name and she would match McKayla. The hard part is she can't read, but I hope she will learn to understand. I am thinking there is no end to this concept. I am can make as many as needed to keep the kids entertained. I another thought that I had was to make the games about church topics or stories. I have thought about a felt board or something similar, but I think this will work just fine. Do any of you have any fun games for church? We have books and church magazines to look at, coloring books and a very few toys. Another question that I have is for those of you that are LDS at what age should I start getting the Friend for McKayla? She will be 5in a couple of months and she can't read yet, but I have heard really good things about this kids magazine. Have a great day.

Adventures of Babysitting

Okay, so it wasn't that adventuresome. I am now watching a family from our ward. The kids are McKayla's age and up, so no little Ariana age ones to worry about. They are really great kids and pretty laid back. I started today and I was pretty unorganized. I have plans for tomorrow and being more on top of it. I am grateful to have this opportunity to grow and learn. McKayla is very excited for more friends to play with. I think it will work out great. I think this will help me get out of our normal rut and try some new things.

Agency

The thing we fight for and believe in is freedom. Freedom to choose, to vote, to make our own choices, and to lives our own lives. I am a full believer in agency and the right to choose for ones self. Then why, I must ask, is it so hard to give my children these same choices. My children are stubborn, strong willed, and once they get an idea in their head they won't change their mind. I think they get it from their father. Okay quit laughing, maybe those are some of my traits. (I heard that snorting!) Anyway, back to the purpose of the post. McKayla has been asking to get her ears pierced for about a year. I had mine done at about 6 months. My niece had hers done when she was 11. When is the right time? I wanted to make the decision for herself, but when could I say that she was old enough to make that decision? McKayla is no ordinary 4 year old. She wants to know the facts. For example, she loves learning about animals. She knows what a habitat is and the definition of cold blooded. She is perfectly fine with the food chain and understands that things are hunted and eaten. She also wants to be a paleontologist after she done being an astronaut. She feels she wants to see the stars and what dwells above us before she makes her discoveries of the earth and what lies below us. My father offered to buy her a book and she choose a dinosaur book that is more like an encyclopedia than a child's book. So, you see my point, she is pretty smart girl. When she stared asking about ear piercings I told her all that was involved. I told her that they use a tool that shoots the earring through her ear, causing a hold and pain. I let her know there would be blood and that it would hurt for awhile afterwards. I explained that she had to take care of her ears and be very careful for about 6 months. That has postponed the asking for awhile. Then she started noticing the girls at preschool and dance that have earrings. The light bulb went on about all the the really cute earrings one could buy. She has been drooling over my earrings as well. The asking started again. I reminded her of the consequences of her choice. I also had her watch a video of a little girl getting her ears pierced on the Internet. She still persisted that she wanted to. I was dumbfounded. She knew all of the consequences, had seen it done, and could tell me everything I had told her. Yet, she still felt like it was something she desired. Chad and I discussed it and decided that it was time to allow her to use her agency. We sat down with her and talked to her again about choices and consequences. We also informed her that we couldn't afford it at this time. She already had a financial backer. I knew my parents have been waiting for 5 years to pay for this. So, that took care of finances. This being done, she choose yesterday to get her ears pierced. Yep, we did it folks. Her face turned red and she shed a single tear. Then she saw her reflection in a mirror. Then we couldn't tear her away from a mirror all day. We asked if it hurt more than she expected. She said that she thought it would feel like a shot and it did. She reminds me 3 times a day to clean her ears and is taking care of them so far. I had a hard time letting go of that control, but I couldn't argue against my original complaint. i wanted her to be old enough to understand and make the choice for herself. And she did.

We did sit down and talk to her about rules of the house. I told her that she will see things that others do, say, or want that we will not be allow in our home. I told her that we didn't need to go over the list right now, but that she needed to be aware that we wanted her to make her own choices and we encouraged her to make good choices, but some things were taboo. I am hoping that we can teach her to make good choices early on. I feel like we have definitely taught her to use logic and to face all of the facts and know the consequences before making choices. We also told her that she can come and talk to us if she is not sure what to do. Shouldn't we be having this conversation is 10 years? Why are we having it now?

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Valentine's Day

Make a Smilebox greeting

Praying for blessing

Like most people in the world, we are in dept. Okay, maybe more than some and less than others. Anyway, it's very stressful, but we honestly looked at our situation and realized we were not paying attention to want vs. need. In fact we were really just wanting. But, we came up with a great budget to help us get out of dept. We were feeling very good about things. We did our taxes and felt ever better. Then silly things started happening, such as my going to the dentist for my 6 month check up and a root canal later realizing rats! I still haven't scheduled to get the crown. Plus yesterday my car was dripping anti-freeze out on the ground at library time. It kind of looked like an alien from a cheesy sci-fic movie had died under my car. I was more then a little stressed. Okay, I'll admit that a threw a large tantrum yesterday afternoon over the dumbest thing. Today I noticed we received our state return. I was able to pay off all of the doctor bills (including the ones that seem to keep coming from that gallbladder surgery). Plus some extra to help the car. I was hoping that all of our tax return would go to credit card debt. It would really help, and I was disappointed that other emergencies cropped up that needed money. I felt like screaming "I'm trying to be good and do the right thing, A little help would be appreciated!" Then I realized last night as I knelt and said my prayers something I had been too busy complaining to notice: they have been answered. A month ago if I had needed dental care or the car needed some work, we wouldn't have been able to do it. Because the Lord protected us until he knew that we would have the funds to cover the emergencies that came up this month. We will still have some money to go towards our debt, but our wise Heavenly Father is teaching me how to really stick to a budget and learn the differences between want and needs. But He is also watching over us as well. I guess I was praying for blessings, but I ignoring what I was given. I am so grateful for a wonderful Heavenly Father who knows what I need better than I do.

Yes, we have a long road ahead of us that will require being financially wise and controlling our wants and being reasonable, but I am great for this lesson now. I am grateful that I can realize the blessing surrounding me and I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn how to save money. Chad and I talked and we realize that this trial is preparing us for something greater. Chad is taking a class on aging and the policies surrounding our older population. If one must rely on medicare, social security, or other governmental funds, they may be in for a shock. As he has reviewed what he is learning with me, we realize that we must plan for our older years now. We do have retirement plan, and a couple of other investments, but we need to do more to put money away not only for a rainy day, but for our future. I am getting a glimpse of how important it is to be satisfied with what we have and not want more. Cars will come and go as cars do, but our home is plenty big for the four of us. We don't need the newest, latest, or greatest to be happy. We don't need to be involved in every opportunity that comes our way. We will be better off in the future and now if we focus on our family, our religion and taking opportunities that are low cost. Rather than being entertained we are learning to entertain each other and playing together. Game night is becoming very popular for us and I am making pizza rather than ordering it for a restaurant. I plan on making other changes as well. I am excited to learn and to teach my girls. Again, I am so grateful for my blessings.

Youth

I have really enjoyed working with the youth at church. The girls are fun and they make me laugh so hard. Last night was the first time I felt frustration or helplessness. One young girl came and really didn't want to participate last night. She felt like being disruptive and complaining or arguing with others. I tried to encourage her and let her know why I felt church was important.

For those that are LDS, she didn't want to work on the personal progress book last night. For those who are not LDS, personal progress is a program for young women where they have a booklet that helps them understand gospel principals. The booklet is optional to do, no one has to do it, if they choose not to, they are not shunned or made fun of. Honestly, I don't know how many girls complete it. Anyway, I was trying to talk to them and encourage them to read the scriptures and work on projects that would help them gain insight into the principals of the gospel. For example, I was talking to them about faith last night and one experience that the girls are challenged to do is to pray night and morning for three weeks and then journal about how their faith increased when they took time to pray.

This young lady comes from a divorced family and I think she feels pulled in different directions. I sense insecurity and a questioning of self within her. I understand that at her age she is dealing with some very challenging things. I simply want her to know that I care about her and God cares about her. I want to be able for her to know that I won't care about her any less if she doesn't want to participate in doing personal progress, I simply don't want her to give up on herself. Simply, I want to be a good example for her and let her know that she is a wonderful girl. Yet, I can't have her disrupting the girls that are there to learn and want to work hard. I have been praying for guidance. I know the most important thing is for her to feel my love, but how do I encourage her without being preachy or sounding condescending?

I think this post is more for me today. I think it is more for my head to ponder how to be more like Christ and share my faith and love with those who are assigned to my class.